DEHLIJ

Yamunotri Basu

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] A Locked B'Day Story [






0]


Characters : Variable X, Y, Z,  

Fixed Q1, Q2 etc and me  

There are always some extra characters, disappearing each day from memories....and contact lists


".......................... Clouds outside Heavy rain falls in my chest! "

The monitor shows a date,  which is  birthday for many around the world... like all other days....but this is the day, when rain comes particularly to this apartment....  And,  i see myself walking in a cycle made up of thorns of hours and minutes or the distances between rooms , the porches, the kitchen, the roof and in the void  of my parents' stories as far as possible ...

love is a sort of divine accident and the rain too....and  this is the day, i reborn like the stories, those are not over, or those who have not met at the end of a happy go lucky concluding paragraph...

To keep up everything in resonance, you must be prepared for this kind of time, when the void, the gloom, the silence reign this world and you would have no scope to leave.....  Though a bright living world knocks your door, you yourself remain absorbed in such deep grief,  you can't step out...It's like a loop of indifference.... Like a loop of death....calm and cold
...



1]



> Lending My Peace I Got the Poison!  Umm
Tak Dumma Dum Dum <


X -  “Life ... is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”

Better, we die.

Y~ Now it's easy

X- It's easy, always, if you want

Y~ No, before the situation was different. It was not cheap adventure

X- In reality, the situation was the same or more conducive to death, now it's tough to commit suicide .... you can walk the streets and invite your death ... so simple but you don't want to do it.

Y~ You're probably right!

X- And our wishes have changed ... We are confused,  what we should really want!



2]



"Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal."

That's what i realise, each morning especially in such special occasions , when i usually give myslef time to look back.....

The apparently empty drawers of my study table are actually full....overflowing with dead words which were alive between us.... In 'we', i ' m fixed, forever  but 'you' keep changing for me .....  From Q1,  Q2 to ......  and God knows how many changes 'i' need to observe to survive!

If i can mend my clock to move backward and touch this room at around end of last century.... I can hear echoed voice of 'you'....

Q1  : You know, what is my crisis! Whatever I am today, that is you!

You may deny or avoid or ignore or forget but i feel,
i am becoming you and now, i can't go back to my previous single state..

I tried my best but failed to break you or break me out... in pieces

Me  :   Almost 25 years back,  on that day, 'you' gave me a long stupid speech! And, i am sorry, i really don't know, where our broken pieces are living nowadays!



3]


> Lending My Faith I Got A Grain of Debt! Umm
Tak Dumma Dum Dum <
....

Outside this close container....variables are available in form of X,Y, Z....i peep through a catch hole

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
....

X : Isolation of isolated people is really wierd

Z : Now smell of sanitiser is making me sick

X : Hydroxychloroquine is now an official treatment for covid 19. Cheap cure with high efficacy & safe ......A good news !!

.....


Y :  It is natural
It is lab made
It’s pandemic
It’s war provoking
God smiles
The definition of communism is defined so well!

X/Z  -Ah! 'G- ' at last! You!

Y -Quick, we are in hurry

X/Z  - How we survive, dear leaders? We are locked. PPE licked,  madicines, food contaminated, water-air polluted, jobs gone, money blocked, world is gradually becoming slave of fools! How we live!

Y -Don't worry, follow the rule

X/Z  -Why ? My uncles were killed,  being follower and being non follower ! My grand mom is still weeping, equally for both of them, in a corner of an old age home. I follow you or not, my mother's fate would be same.

Y -Just stop assuming and conclude, only follow the rule

X - How  'G- ', how? Your rules are contradictory,  viscous... divert time to time per color per place . Today's rule here is tomorrow's offence there.  We are timid, confused and our children are in danger

Y -You are numbers not thinkers, stop thinking and follow. We provide you virtual amusements. You f* go there and f* enjoy yourselves. Above all we allow proper rituals to keep you engaged.... Nothing to worry. Everything is set for country's betterment .  Just follow...Tathastu!

X/Z  - Herr 'G-'!   Jay Ho!

God smiles again..... " It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. "



4]



In this self made iron cell, "Silence is a true friend who never betrays. "–  The chaos is really entertaining, though!   Mass nausea and mass horror ... driving force of news channels to get  growing ...

I visualise words of 'you' on my lap... They are caressing my hair...my skin...

Q2 : Can we forget all negative incidents... Can we move back to the first day, with the cloudy sky, with the wait of Sun, with narrow way among yellow flowers, with the birds,  outside....with a curious butterfly, alone!

I miss !

....sound of rainbow and the person... who wore a tissue, neatly knitted by wait...

The door, the window, the balcony , the wind are not waiting for me...!

Me : I think, silence has it's own consciousness may incorporates in 'your poems now...traveling to me as droplets, over a blue moon!  But i fix you there.... Within a particular time loop, of ten constant years ...i have thrown away the key..... Sorry! I can't make my mind up to break the clock


5]


> Lending My Soul I Got A Betrayed Land! Umm
Tak Dumma Dum Dum <


Empty streets, empty Auditoriums, empty fields...

The roars are on online  talk shows now....

I can hear the variables, engaged in value assessment...


X - Dear Mr. scientist, are we at the crucial mode of change, in scientific history?

Y - See, we are always in mode of change, this is not new, only a significant point of same process

X - Don't you think, current situation of world is going to proof Charles Darwin, wrong?

Y - Not at all. We are still evolving the same way, the fittest will survive.

X -But, is not it devolution, life is devolving, descending from advance level to lower level!

Y - Hey, no. The standard is set by some fool humanists,  democrats, ecologists, economists, educationists with some obsolete theories ...  whose significance is almost zero in history of science.  Science works on cumulative facts, mass, products, defects...a new era  starts from a defect only.

X - Then, here is our great chance to evolve in a new species from Homo sapiens...!
Place, race, culture, religion, gender or color biased DICTATORS are fit to  qualify,  
 
Y - Yes, accept the change. It's up to you, how you portray... let others get fossilised on thd hospital beds or in queue



6]



"The memory came faint and cold of the story I might have told, a story in the likeness of my life, I mean without the courage to end or the strength to go on."....

We are moving through and fro as fast as electromagnetic waves . With time and place our frequency changes following fundamental rules...

We don't know how to cover the distance... in miles or years!  But the condition is  vibrant, fragile....with a agitating  feeling of miss....

Once, "it was a home that carried a heartbeat"....  Now, the time frame is settled down within the heart of a petrified city, under sea... to live in fragrance of raw earth, when she had just learnt to adjust with her speed...

I guess memory is basic structure of animal's soul
...i'm also not a plastic,  fixed or static mannequine ...i can revolt, reshape, relive

I keep my soul here, part by part in these locked drawers.... in my secret  breathing space.
I know, nowadays,  my words don't get sufficient frequency to reach you...
 
I know, my phases are volatile,  temporary....but don't you think our conversation is necessary!

Any how, many happy returns of this very special day, to me !  Cheers!

.....




7]

> Lending My Hands I Got A Brooooom! Hmm
Tak Dumma Dum Dum <


News channel whispers,  " a country managed to quickly contain the viral situation, situating themselves as the global leader.

What do you think about your country borrowing billions of dollars from that country? Is it safe? "

....

X : “One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it was possible, to speak a few reasonable words.”

Y : This is not the time to be reasonable

Z :  “Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain.”

X : I don't know how i plan for tomorrow, what i put there, in my plan!

Y : “I’m not sure what I’ll do, but— well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.”

X : Let's drink this uncertainty !.

All :  Cheers

And the earth says ..."missing the glass of holy water, i shared with my love "

.....


( Borrowed some words from : The Bible, William Shakespeare, Goethe, Arthur Schopenhauer, Oscar Wilde, F. Scott Fitzgerald,
George Orwell, Samuel Beckett and Shakti Chattopadhyay

Rhythm is taken from : Bengali fables )
    

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